Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The cool down

Just a few days remain in my Arabian adventure. I’m in a whirlwind of sorts, there’s much to do and very little time. So obviously, as I master my ostrich impression, I’ll write a fragmented blog post.

And so begins my Toronto-centric relocation. To my Doha readers, I apologize for the shift Hack the Bone is about to take. It can’t be helped, I’m moving back to the CoTU (centre of the universe).

G20 relocates Jays-Phillies Series to Philadelphia

They really did it. Halladay won’t be coming to Toronto this summer.

Upon hearing the news, I was all “road trip! Let’s party in Philly,” but then I remembered how the world’s most influential people are going to be in Toronto. It’s going to be madness! Am I the only one excited to see the kind of stealth operations that go down?

So the Jays won’t be here, but who’s to say we can’t have baseball? Wouldn’t it be awesome to organize a day of baseball at Christie Pits? We can get Toronto’s best amateur clubs to play in a tourney or something, dress them in Jays and Phillies gear and let the disappointed fans enjoy a mass picnic/tailgate in the sunshine. If I had the energy and connections to organize this, I’d be all over it.
It’s a nice thought, at least.

Canadian Weather

Canadian Summer = desert winter. I’m a little frightened.

Remember that episode of the Simpsons when Homer drinks Grandpa’s love elixir for the first time? He and Marge are in bed, all post-coital like and Homie says:

“Where are my pants?”

“You threw them out the window in a fit of passion. You said you were never going to need them again.”
That’s exactly what I did with my winter clothes before moving here.

Doha Goodbyes…

….are HORRIBLE. The worst. With Doha friends, it’s like “we’ll get together the next time I’m in London or Melbourne or Brittany or San Francisco or Edinburgh….see you never!!!” I’m emotionally drained and there's still four more days of this.

I’m really going to miss everybody.

Banksy in Toronto

Every white person’s favourite artist made an appearance in Toronto this week. Torontoist was the first to publish photos of Banksy’s work and soon the papers followed suit. The Globe and Mail, never to miss out on hipness (hey look, we’re hanging with Bono and Bob Geldolf hahaha) published an article on the “art versus vandalism” argument that Banksy's work ignites.

Honestly, I thought his art was already in Toronto. Remember those grey and white people with vespa heads that were plastered around Toronto? Not Banksy? They’re actually an ad campaign? All right then.

I think lots of what Banksy does is cool, but there was one thing about his Toronto visit that irked me.

Torontoist didn’t confirm it was him, but whatever. Let’s go with it, so I have something at which to shake my fist.

Banksy wrote ‘TAKE THAT,’ on a branch that fell and landed on a parked car.

I guess Banksy was trying to say that the idea was the owner of the car deserved what was coming to him/her. Anyone who can afford to buy a Mercedes (is it a Mercedes, right?) must be deserving of public scorn and ridicule.

Look, if I worked hard enough and bought myself a Mercedes and some judgmental millionaire artist laughed at my misfortune when a tree crashed on it, I think my head would explode.

Seriously, maybe the owner of that car donates more money to charity than Banksy every year. Maybe she just left her dying mom in the hospital and had to walk to her car to discover that not only was it damaged, some anonymous punk thought it necessary to rub it in. Maybe she’s actually a good person who didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

Someone needs to stand up for the rich lady. To me, this tree job is a classic dick move.

Stick to wall drawings, Banksy. You’re actually kind of mean.

The Regent Park facades were better anyway.


  1. "Someone needs to stand up for the rich lady. To me, this tree job is a classic dick move."

    And THAT is a classic line!

    You rule Mereditherer dear and I shall see you in Brittany... or Ontario or Tanzania or Monaco or India...

    See ya babe!

  2. Its an Acura Integra not a Benz :)


Ramble on...