Hooray for everything! It’s that time of year again. The favourite sporting event of people who hate sports (not the Olympics) - the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show airs tonight.
2010 winner, Stump
Last year, when I was job hunting and hanging around being awesome, I spent two whole days sizing up the competitors and predicting winners. Past coverage is here. I also revealed an unhealthy disdain for poodles. I’m mellower now. My poodly rage is curbed.
Now that I have a life, my coverage won’t be as thorough but I'm making time for my doggy friends.
I haven’t seen one minute of Olympic action, thanks to CTV’s insistence on making online streaming next to impossible (blerrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg). I will channel the time that SHOULD spend talking about the Olympics on the dog show. Lucky you.
What’s in store for dog lovers in 2010?
Every year, to keep things fresh, Westminster allows one or two previously unrecognized breeds to the doggy cannon. Breeds rarely win their first year out, but it’s a victory just to be included. I know, I know. That’s what losers say.
Here are 2010's new breeds:
aka your most embarrassing one night stand in dog form
The Pyrenean Shepherd has been around since medieval times, but only finally managed to sleep with enough judges to warrant inclusion in 2010. It’s been a long road.
The Norwegian Buhund
aka the Shiba Inu’s annoying little sister
Look at that barrel-chest. This dog does not have a chance.
Irish Red and White Setter
aka the red and white headed stepchild
Starved for attention, the people of Ireland finally convinced Westminster judges that one Irish Setter was not enough. This dog will most certainly go home empty handed.
Last year, I encouraged readers to pick a favourite breed and throw all of their emotional support behind it. This year, I implore you to do the same. Loving things without irony is good for the soul.
My picks for this year:
Like the Academy Awards, the Westminster Dog Show risks being labeled a dinosaur in the age of ADHD and digital media. This is because nothing really changes from year to year. So, in an effort to stay with the times, I think this year’s winners will reflect the more technologically-savvy breeds.
The Shiba Inu
Thanks to an addictive web feed, in 2009 the Shiba Inu rose from doggy obscurity to Internet superstardom. Don’t be surprised if you see the most buzz-worthy dog of the year in one of the winner’s circles.
The Brussels Griffon
I think this little guy with THAT FACE has an excellent chance of winning in 2010. Last year, Vegas picked the Griffon as odds-on favourite. Vegas was wrong. This year, Vegas picked four-year old Scottish Terrier Sadie as favourite. Sadie peed in the winner’s circle at a tournament earlier this year. My advice? Put your money on the dark horse.
HOLD THE PHONE.
I just checked the Westminster website. The event started yesterday. It’s time to stop what I was doing and comment on the winners so far. What? It’s not like I’m going to delete all of my hard work and start over. Shut up. Read on.
Winner: Toy Poodle
Well, duh. Stupid conniving poodles. Uh oh. The familiar rage is coming back. Best to move on quickly.
I have a soft spot for whippets. When I was a child, my mom alerted me to a news article about a group of whippets bred for racing. When they were no longer able to race competitively, the dogs were either abandoned or put down by the owners. After a life of running on flat surfaces the surviving dogs were unable to walk up and down stair cases. The horror. Point of story? The whippet win is fine by me.
Winner: French Bulldog
While I prefer the standard bulldog, a French bulldog's win ensures a Standard Poodle's loss. So, wash.
Heyyy, no fair! The Puli won this group last year. I know he’s wild and crazy looking; the kind of dog you’d want to pull an all-nighter with, but would it kill you to diversify, Westminster? Boring.
My final prediction for Best in Show? Riverdance Dog.