Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Reaching for new levels of inanity

This post brought to you by puppies.

I’ve subscribed to the Daily Puppy for some time now. If you’re not familiar with the site, you should think about getting up from under that rock, you dummy! The Daily Puppy is an Internet cornerstone. It’s the old, familiar place to go when you need an “awww” moment. Conveniently, it’s also the place to go when you need to laugh at crazy dog ladies who comment on photos of puppies all day.

Here’s how the Daily Puppy works - people send in pictures of their puppy. A new puppy photo is posted daily. Site visitors then rank the puppy, giving him virtual bones (every puppy gets a score of 10 out of 10 bones) and talk about how precious he is. Trust me, it’s a hoot.

I read the Daily Puppy daily. Sometimes I even give away virtual bones. Sounds dumb, but this sprawling level of lameness makes me an authority on the cuteness of every dog.

Don’t think reading the Daily Puppy is enough to make me an authority? Read on.

At nine years of age, I spent three weeks (an ETERNITY for a nine year-old) writing and illustrating what I thought was the world’s first Dog Breed Dictionary. I made it to the letter 'D.' Good thing we didn’t have the Internet back then because a simple Google search would have left me sorely disappointed.

Through my lifetime, I’ve owned ten different dogs, and held seven doggy funerals. How many tears have you shed standing over a shallow grave that holds your fluffy companion? HOW MANY?

Also, I’m just an excellent judge of beauty.

As such, I’ve decided to rank the five cutest puppy breeds, in descending order….with photos. And once my list is uncovered, I hope the discussion on world's cutest puppy can come to its adorable conclusion.


The Cutest Puppy Breeds

4. Basset Hound

3. Chow Chow

2. Beagle

1. Inbred

Wonky/Liza trumps those purebreds every time. Err time.

I guess you can debate who's the cutest, but leave the connatural (wonky one) out of it. 

1 comment:

Ramble on...