Monday, May 11, 2009

Stop messing in my ward.

Ughhhhhh. Don’t you hate it when someone on your ‘I want to bone’ list enters the hall of douchebags?

Cue Adam Giambrone.

The baby-faced city councillor (and my former imaginary boyfriend) landed in hot water this week after a series of “threatening” emails he wrote to another councillor were leaked to the public. Here’s an example of said threats:

Stop messing in my ward or there will be problems. I generally ignore your actions, but I am going to start looking for ways to cause trouble for you and when I start you're not going to appreciate it."

First, let’s thank Mr. Giambrone for giving Torontonians a hilarious catchphrase to use. Please, try and use STOP MESSING IN MY WARD in a sentence today. Imagine the hilarity and timelieness of a well placed STOP MESSING IN MY WARD. You’ll be the most popular kid in Toronto.Okay, next. He actually said, “when I start you’re not going to appreciate it.” Real tough Giamweenie. I can’t believe I googled you on six separate occasions.

Allow me to whine a little about Giambrone’s fall from my bone list grace. Why do all the cute ones have to be losers?! This is just like the time I found out my favourite Backstreet Boy (Brian -- the poor man’s Nick Carter) was a Christian fundamentalist. A clean cut, good role model is not even sexy to a twelve year-old. Don't get me started on the Jonas Brothers. Kids these days....friggen losers.

So the next step for me? Find a new political figure to admire. I've got athletes, actors and musicians covered. That's easy. It's a lot harder to fall in love with politicians. Am I right, ladies?

Okay my hunt is on to replace Giambrone. Here's hoping I don't settle for Mayor Miller or something. Fuck.

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