Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Oh, but I love the computer!

In the coming days, two highly anticipated sporting events will air. The first being Game Seven (capitalized to stress the magnitude) between Ovechkin and Crosby. I’m especially cheering for the Caps now more than ever, since Mats Sundin and the Vancouver Canucks had their playoff hopes extinguished last night. Cruel world.

The other sporting event is tonight’s Blue Jays – Yankees game. The best pitcher in the world Roy Halladay faces hot mess A.J. Burnett. It’s going to be epic y’all. What I wouldn’t give to be there in person.
Picture made more AWESOME by the presence of Scooter "Batcave" Downs

Even my Toronto FC loving Father knows how exciting this game is. We were on the phone for all of three minutes on Sunday before the conversation turned to talk of AJ and the Doctor. We understand the important things in life.

This game is huge. I could try and build it up more but I’m pretty sure the hype is so big even Hype Williams is feeling small today.

That didn’t even make sense.

ANYWAY. I can’t wait to sign on to mlb.tv and watch as Halladay embarrasses Burnett. It’ll be glorious. There’s just one small problem.

You see, the game airs at 7 p.m. Toronto time. That’s like, two a.m. in Doha. I don’t know about you, but if I’m not in bed by 11 on a work night, I get legitimately stressed out. I’ve totally turned into a loser since joining the office brigade (haven’t officially entered the Hall of Douchebags yet, it’s more like chilling in Weenie Town).

Herein lies the problem. First thing in the morning, I’m always eager to see what the world got up to while I was asleep. Plus, it’s part of my job to follow current events. This actually means I read respected, legitimate publications featuring important and far-reaching news. LOLCats isn’t my home page. Shocking.

So, if I actually want to watch the game and not have the outcome spoiled by jerks like YOU before I leave work, drastic measures will be taken. I’ll spend the whole day sitting in front of a computer. A beautiful computer with infinite informational tentacles, and not be able to use any of its resources. In other words….I’ll be in hell.

My talent for trolling the Interwebz might screw me tomorrow. I will do whatever I can to NOT know the score of the game. I will stay off of Facebook, Twitter, Google Reader, FriendFeed, The Globe and Mail, Tao of Steib and all Sports Pages. Being so plugged is a curse. A beautiful curse.
Without my nerdy skills, you might have gone your whole life without seeing THAT photo.

This doesn’t mean I will stay off of the Internet completely. Pretty sure LOLCats is safe territory.

But guys....I'm scared. Me trying to avoid my Internet friends for a day = dweeb FAIL.

Time for a random Doha insult story.
Dude #1 is driving along the street.
He cuts Dude #2 off.
Dude #2 gets out of his car, approaches the window of Dude #1 and screams,
“You’re a very,very bad driver. And your Mother’s a Catholic!”

For serious.

3 comments:

  1. OMG, are you kidding...did you really hear this exchange between dude #1 & dude #2? That is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your poor,poor TFC loving father will be unable to watch the game against Montreal Impact in the second match of the Canadian championship tonight as the game is NOT on tv 'cause those hated Wankees and fun-loving Jays are on Sportsnet! Thank goodness for MLS streaming. I hope he knows how streaming works as I heard he has to work instead of going on down to BMO Field!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. random sign at the skydone ;

    "Someone call the DOC, A-ROID needs a shot!"

    ReplyDelete

Ramble on...