Sunday, March 15, 2009

Visiting old friends

Know who I was just thinking about? Monica Lewinsky.

Whatever happened to her? I cannot believe that woman actually managed to slink away into obscurity, after cigar-gate, dress-gate, stain-gate...whatever. She was firmly wedged in the international conscience for years, but once the whole scandal blew over, she all but fell off the face of the earth.

After the Clinton fiasco, I remember Lewinsky's hugely-anticipated interview with Barbara Walters. The most important detail women took away from that exchange was where Lewinsky buys her lip gloss. She also designed and sold a line of handbags (with stain proof lining for accidents...zing), that I’m sure went nowhere.

Monica Lewinsky has been off my radar for years, and I'm the type of person who actively looks for trainwrecks like her. But it really seems she's gone. Finally! A woman, caught in a national scandal doesn't whore herself out to reality television. This is almost unheard of. In this sense, Monica Lewinsky is better than Tonya Harding and Florence Henderson and everyone else on the Surreal Life. Crazy.

Let’s check in with Ms. Lewinsky and see what she’s up to (I bet it’s semi-respectable).

*researching*

So…it turns out Lewinsky hosted a reality dating show called Mr. Personality (hahaha) and is still making ugly handbags. She claims she can’t get a “real job,” even though she graduated from the London School of Economics, because the Clinton connections run too deep; employers are scared to hire her.

Lewinsky, thanks for making me look stupid! OF COURSE you hosted a reality TV DATING show. Sure, you have a fancy degree from a prestigious school, but I'm going to ignore that part.

Everyone signs on to a fucking reality TV show eventually. Reality television refuses to let us forget society’s biggest bags of garbage. I don’t know why I brought up that sloobag Lewinsky anyway. Clearly, I need to catch up with the rest of my peers and talk about the recession or Lindsay Lohan's arrest warrant (nevermind, that topic is always timely). I'm sorry I dredged up the past. because I really had high hopes for the world's most famous home wrecker.

Check back tomorrow for more timely posts, like:

1.) Who is hotter? Freddie Prinze Jr. or Ryan Phillippe?
2.) Do you really think Ja Rule and Ashanti are doing it?
3.) It’s BUSH…not BUSH X!
Please pay attention to us. We are still young, hip and totally relevant.

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