Monday, March 2, 2009

Peacing Out Early

When I started writing this blog, I was sooo into Lost. Hypnotized. Obsessed. Dreaming about it, for fuck's sake. I've since abandoned the show. I watched the first few seasons in a matter of days and then stopped caring. When I last left the castaways, they were all about to croak or some shit. There was a huge cliff hanger, but I can't be bothered to find out what happens.

This is a pattern. I drop things at their most crucial moments.

DKM and I were watching the Constant Gardener the other night. I made it through the first half only to stop paying attention so I could play Snake on my phone (I'm using a really old celly until I activate my blackberry). We switched the critically acclaimed film off and watched an episode of the Wire. I still don't know what happened to Raph Fiennes and his dead wife because DKM thinks I shouldn't cheat and won't reveal the ending. Life carries on.

Another example -- I still haven't read the last Harry Potter book. I devoured the first six with intense fervour, but never bought the Deathly Hallows. I still don't know how it all ended for Harry and friends. I think they had an orgy and died. Or something. Meh.

I don't know who killed J.R.
Up until a year ago, *spoiler alert* I didn't know the chick in the Crying Game wasn't a chick at all.

While I often abandon bits of pop culture with actual significance, I always stick with the things that are truly terrible.

For instance, I watched the Fred Durst sex tape in its entirety.....twice. I felt really bad about myself after, but I did it. Does any one remember Fred Durst? Nookie? Fuck, forget it. Let him sit at the bottom of the well of celebrity obscurity until he's invited on the Surreal Life. They still make that show, right?

Speaking of sex tapes and the Surreal Life, who has seen Verne "Mini Me" Troyer's leaked video?? Do yourself a favour and DO NOT WATCH IT EVER. That was the worst minute and a half of my life. My eyeballs will never forgive me. So here's my plea. If anyone wants to write me and fill in the endings of Lost, Harry Potter or the Constant Gardener, you'd save me a lot of time-- Time better spent making fun of Mini Me and his flicky lizard tongue. Much appreciated.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Ramble on...