Friday, March 20, 2009

A female take on March Madness

Let's see how long it takes me to stray from basketball and throw in a Gossip Girl reference, shall we?
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We were out of coffee mugs this morning. Instead of washing one, I used a measuring cup. It’s the weekend bitches!

It’s March Madness again. I love March Madness, it’s so much fun. I think that watching and enjoying the NCAA tournament is essential to maintaining relationship with DKM. I swear that he weeds out women without a vested interest in sports. Whatever. Girls who like sports are hot.

DKM's imaginary dating ad: Male, straight, 24. Sports fan seeking female possessing above average knowledge of sports, but must NOT know more than him. If you are super hot, a waning interest will suffice. No Red Sox fans need apply. You are dumb.

DKM is a Duke fan. A HUGE Duke fan. It’s a big part of his identity and he's quite nerdy about it. His Duke fandom makes him an easy harping target, especially for his friends who like teams with better luck.

FLASHBACK: Mentions of Duke and DKM takes me back to first year university. Half of his wardrobe had a Duke logo on it. He's since matured to finer things, which is nice. DKM was a piece of work in first year. Through the intitial week we met, DKM had no leg hair. He lost a bet and was forced to shave his legs. They were so smooth, I kind of liked it. I also learned, in our first week together, that Sinbad’s Houseguest is his favourite movie. Shaved legs and Sinbad? Ordinarily I would have run screaming away, very fast. I would have headed back to residence to tell my friends that I accidentally hooked up with a huge d-bag and discuss how best to avoid him in the cafeteria. Luckily, DKM has plenty of positive attributes that cancel out Sinbad.

You know, I shouldn’t really talk. In first year, I liked to sit at my computer, put on headphones and sing out loud to Bonnie Raitt, praying my roommate wouldn’t walk in. She did once, laughed and then left. It was awkward.

Bonnie Raitt. The original Hot Ginge.

Back to basketball.

Duke played last night at 9 p.m. EST. Matching my dedication to all things Oscar, DKM woke up at five in the morning to watch a shitty, slow-buffering feed from espn.com. You can't say we're not passionate.

Anyway, I usually join a bunch of pools, whether on Facebook or with my friends, but this year I didn’t get into it. I am a desert dwelling hermit -- so fucking out of touch. That said, I asked DKM to print out a bracket and we decided to play against each other. The winner will receive an abundance of sexual favours, or something. It's all about competition.

DKM is really concerned about the logistics of this sexual favours thing. “How is that going to work, exactly? Is there a point system? Do underdog wins count for more? How many favours does the winner receive?” Etc…

Details, details.

Once he realizes that I’m beating him, he will stop asking questions (I took Western Kentucky over Illinois. Ha!) and be cool.

I also picked Cornell, who plays tonight. I picked them in honour of Andy Bernard. My favourite character on the Office.

I went to Cornell. You heard of it?

The rest of my picks were based solely on the hilarity of the school's name. Purdue, Butler, Siena, Marquette, Gonzaga all have to make it to the next round or I'm toast.

I think that's a clever way to win. I''ll let you know how it all works out for us.

Shit, No Gossip Girl reference.TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.

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