Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Your Winner

Today is going to be a good day. It’s before nine a.m. and I’ve already got something to cheer about. This is Stump, a 10-year-old Sussex Spaniel and 2009 Westminster champion.

Stump beat out the the Brussels Griffon (Vegas was WRONG), some really important Giant Schnauzer, and all the losers I mentioned yesterday. Even the Standard Poodle's shameless preening couldn't stop Stumpy.

Stump broke records yesterday. He is the first Sussex Spaniel, and the oldest pooch ever to win the Westminster. 70 is the new 20. Stump is the Helen Mirren of dog shows.

Our boy Stump actually retired from dog shows a few years ago. In 2004, he suffered a medical condition and was near death. He pulled through, came out of retirement and dominated the geriatric scene yesterday. Stump's getting paid now.
I couldn’t be happier for the little guy. And don't try and tell me Stump doesn't care that he won. If you ever watch these things, you've seen the dogs jump around when they win. It’s probably because their owners are so happy, but this is why they are man’s best friend. Frecking sweethearts.
On a related note, PETA was at Westminster too. If there’s anyone who can ruin a party, it’s the gang at PETA. The animal activists were at MSG to picket this year’s contest. Clearly I’m an animal lover, but to me, PETA people are the worst. Much of what they do is either violent or misguided. Remember when they wanted people to start calling fish sea kittens? They thought people might stop eating fish, if eating fish dredged up images of swimming kitties. Fuckthewhat.

Here's the thing about that – fish are gross looking. They are not kittens. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but a trout by any other name would still smell like a fucking fish.

Oh, and remember this stinker? You may have blocked the Greyhound bus mess out because it’s so sick, but this was one of the PR disasters of 2008. On what planet is that ever appropriate? Read the article and refresh your memory. Sickitating.

So what was PETA’s beef with Westminster?

From the Globe and Mail: With their characteristically subtle touch, PETA members picketed the competition outside Madison Square Garden yesterday, wearing white Ku Klux Klan robes and holding signs saying "KKK and AKC support pure bloodlines," referring to the American Kennel Club.

They dressed up like the fucking KLAN because there aren't any mutts at Westminster. Dog shows are tooootally racist. Unbelievable. Click here to read the whole article.

PETA's insane tactics detract attention from their messaging. It seems you only ever read about their protests-- not what they try to accomplish. They turn a noble cause into a sideshow. PETA should emphasize peace, awareness and understanding. It's backwards for an organization condemning violence to engage in it themselves. Sure, dressing up like the Klan gets attention, but it's the wrong kind. The Globe article doesn't even mention why PETA was at Westminster until five paragraphs in. The emphasis, as always, was on their stupid protest tactics.
To me, PETA is like the troubled kids in school I knew. The shit disturbers who deep down just wanted a little love from mommy. How's about a hug, PETA? Now fuck off.

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