Saturday, February 7, 2009

The LP Crew: Regattas

I'm feeling nostaglic after writing that last post, so I'll continue along the same vein.

No one can mention LP drinking games without paying due to the Krausz-Pridham Regatta --a highlight of my drinking career. Allow me to explain....
**Stuffwhitepeople.com can also explain. Looky here

Origin: one fateful summer in 2004, I was enjoying a weekend at a cottage with 12 of my friends when our relaxing getaway weekend took an interesting turn. The boys, drunk on power (and liquor, I'm sure), decided to organize a grueling sports event. Calling it a regatta was stupid, as no actual boats were involved, but we were too drunk to know the difference.

We named captains and chose teams. Picking members was brutal, as there were fewer girls than guys. We had to pit the boys’ femininity against the girls’ masculinity to make things even. Feelings were hurt.

Once that was over, an intense battle raged between the California Raisins and the California Dry Socks. The regatta was born.

Events: We came up with a list of events that would test strength, endurance, and agility. We also awarded points to who could rip a bong and swim underwater the longest without coming up for air. It was awesome.

The first official event was the Beer Dive. To play, each team throws three full beer bottles into the lake beside a dock. Female competitors put on goggles and dive for the beers, one at a time, then return them and rest while other team members chug them. I stupidily volunteered to face my friend Mal, thinking I would win for sure because Mal's a sweetheart and probably wouldn't try very hard. I was so wrong. She was fierce and it was really fucking tiring. There was also a ton of pressure to win as you had a slew of drunk guys screaming at you to "hurry the fuck up!!"

The game ended terribly. For me, anyway.

I found what I thought was my third beer. I was so so tired but relieved, I dove down and surfaced, cheering my good fortune. My happiness quickly faded. Fucking sheisty assface, of course it was Mal’s last beer!! That wench saw my discovery and came towards me, eyes aglow. I panicked, and acted in part desperation, part exhaustion by whipping the beer straight at Mal's head. It nearly clocked her in the face, but (thankfully?) I missed.

The logical thing to do in that situation would have been to throw the glass bottle AWAY from my tired competitor, forcing her to swim away. I did the opposite.

Mal won, I lost. We can’t even hang out in the same room anymore before someone reminds us of that embarrassing moment. Mal loves it, because she won and I cringe in embarrassment every time. Fucking beer dive. I hate you.

Other events: We also held a fishing derby, an egg drop, paddle races, and a cake eating contest. The cake eating was my favourite. To win, players must successfully eat a slice of McCain chocolate cake and chug a pint of beer before their opponent.

Here is a photo from the cake eating of 2004:

Have you ever seen a happier bunch of people?

Present day: The Regatta was held again this year, and while we couldn’t do the beer dive thanks to a lack of docks, we added new events in its place. This year's regatta featured a handstand contest, tandem sand bury/rescue, and wood breaking with your face:

Since the cake eating contest was so successful the first go around, we made sure to pick up a McCain chocolate cake at the grocery store. No one volunteered to eat cake because it is not fun at all, and even if you win you still get really sick. There was a minor snag, but our friends' health would not stand in the way of a good time. We emasculated Brendy and Barker until they caved.

The 2008 cake eating contest looked a little something like this:Laying down rules and strategy

Eating cake

Celebrating the miserable winner

If you haven't been part of a cake eating contest, I highly recommend getting involved. It's good for the soul, provided you sit and watch on the sidelines.

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Ramble on...