Saturday, February 7, 2009

The LP Crew: Drinking Games

I went to high school at Lawrence Park in Toronto. Nice school, great neighbourhood. I like to call it the blonde ghetto, for the white kids who think...uh, nevermind.

So since LP students come from the same ‘hood, and 98% move back home after university, it's easy to remain friends after high school. The proximity thing helps.

We still get together and drink and make fun of each other until things get uncomfortable. I guess because we were friends through the most sexually awkward years of our lives, we feel the right to endlessly taunt one another into adulthood. This seriously never gets old.

When it comes to partying, my LP friends are some of the finest drinkers I have ever known. For us, drinking isn't just a hobby-- it's a sport. Now, I know every group of friends thinks their drinking games are the best evvvver, of all time, and that they are way cooler than us. They might even be right. BUT it has to be said, the games we play are some of the most competitive, dangerous, yet hilarious events known to man.
This is some of us, years ago. We look like an upstanding group of folks, don't we? WRONG.

One reason I love this group of friends so much is because of their competitive natures. I always get teased for being unnecessarily competitive, but I found a group of kindreds at LP. They are nuts. We can turn a seemingly harmless game of murder wink into a friendship-ending, loyalty-testing, all-out war. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CIRCLE OF TRUTHS!??”
My favourite drinking game we play is the Name Game. It doesn't actually have anything to do with drinking, excepting the part where you need to be shitfaced or it's not fun.
To play, players choose a general topic and anonymously write down something about said topic.

Categories range from the name of a person, (often the host of the gathering because we are jerks), to an object (a picture of a stuffed bear in a tracksuit going for a run), to an event (an awkward act of hand holding or such). All slips of paper are thrown in a hat. One person reads the entries out loud, and the players then take turns guessing who wrote what. Sounds harmless, but almost always ends in a fight or two.

The Name Game was played this past summer. The topic was, “who at the table annoys you the most, and why?”

Most wrote borderline offensive things about the others. Past drunken antics and hookups are always included. Most people we were careful not to offend -- we weren’t that drunk after all, it was still daytime. I said most because my favourite answer was the single-word response, “Danielle.”

Danielle the nicest girl out of the entire crew. This attack was unfounded and completely random. It must be noted, were at Danielle’s house, for her fucking birthday party at the time. No explanation was provided as to why Danielle was annoying. I guess the person didn't feel one was necessary. I can’t remember who wrote that, but I'm pretty sure they are blackballed from Danielley's next party.

When someone gets really offended during a drinking game, most disputes are settled with a ‘pigeon’ match. (pronounced pie-jun). It is a physical battle, where two soldiers square off for a no-arm fight. What drinking fest is complete without various feats of strength?
When you’ve tired of thinking of creative ways to make fun of each other, a fight is the next step. I never pigeon because female pigeon fights aren’t funny, and also because they really hurt. This is what a typical pigeon match looks like:
Note the technique-- these are two exceptionally skilled pigeoners. Their matches are like a well-choreographed ballet. It is a treat for the eyes.

**Ed Note. I have videos of the name game and a pigeon fight I was going to post. They were the whole reason I wrote this stupid entry and now they won't work. This post feels empty without their inclusion and for this I am sorry.

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