Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cry Baby

**Puppy not necessarily related to post, he just makes me happy

I'm eating All-Bran for breakfast. This makes me feel old but I don't stop because it is so delicious. I'm off-setting this by wearing hot pants and sporting a kicky ponytail. There’s an image to move this post along…

So...I have a srrrious question for my lady friends.
How often do you cry?

I would tell the boys to move on, but they’ve already left.

I ask because I’m concerned I cry more than the average girl. Despite the asshole tone of this blog, I can cry at anything. I am especially affected when reading or watching things about animals.
Some people think it’s sad if you cry at things on TV, but not at real human events. I cry at those too, so shut up. I once watched a car run over a squirrel on my way to class and shed frozen tears the rest of the way.

For your consideration, here are some things that made me cry recently:

1.) Lost. Fucking Lost. Again. This week it was Rose and Bernard’s old people love. It was sweet so the tears fell.

2.) Times when I think I'm entirely unhireable. “No one wants me. I have no skills. I couldn’t get a job to save my life. Boo hoo.”

3.) Times when my superiority complex kicks in. “I’m awesome. This country is fucking backwards. They don’t know what they’re missing. Fuckkking hell. Wahh.”

4.) Obama’s inauguration.

5.) Planet Earth. The episode “From Pole to Pole” (sounds like porno) depicts the death of a mighty polar bear. We watch as his icy home melts beneath his paws, forcing him to swim for days in search of food. When he finally finds a treasure trove of walruses on which to feast, he is too exhausted and weak to kill any of them. The polar bear collapses from hunger and soon dies of starvation. I was absolutely beside myself watching this. Poor DKM was in another room doing something manly, while Planet Earth was breaking my little heart. You should have seen the look on his face when it was over and I came looking for solace.
I'm a big fucking crybaby. Or not-- I need perspective from friends. Someone please message me and tell me something embarrassing that makes you cry so I don’t feel like such an ass.

A perfect example of funny crying took place at the bar where I used to work—the Loose Moose. One night, Iron Maiden was playing in town and their fan club rented out the bar. About 300 metal heads showed up. You should have seen these people. They were the grimiest, scariest, ugliest crowd I have ever seen. There was one guy who dressed like a mummy (??) and when he arrived, the entire place erupted in cheers and chants. It was overwhelming.
Despite their ghoulish appearance, it was a really sweet display. They were sooo happy to see each other, and this camaraderie got to my friend Jen H. While most of the servers were dumbfounded by the scary men walking around, I found Jen, totally moved, standing by the bar with tears in her eyes. She was overcome by the beauty of it all, and was unable to work for a few minutes. Of course, I thought this was the funniest thing of all time.

This is the kind of embarrassing cry story I need.

1 comment:

Ramble on...